Skip to content
~/peter-filias

The Personal Blog of Peter Filias

Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Southern Republican?

· Uncategorized

Dan sent me this one. I love it!

Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Southern Republican? With
elections coming up, we should all decide. Here is a little test that
may help you decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between a Democrat, a
Republican and a Southern Republican?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the
knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert
shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?


**Democrat's Answer:** Well, that's not enough information to answer the   
question! Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could   
we run away?

What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the   
gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does   
this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound   
me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while   
he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a   
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a   
few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican’s Answer: BANG!


**Southern Republican's Answer:** BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!   
BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!   
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter's voice, "Nice grouping,   
Daddy!"